Gender Awareness and Inclusion with Rachel Kalina, MSW, LCSW
As anxiety counselors in St. Louis, we know how important it is to feel supported and accepted for exactly who you are.
That’s why we want to make sure that our kids and teens who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community have a safe space to be themselves. It’s also important to connect them with resources that will continue to support and help them through any feelings that may come up. We are so happy to have had the opportunity to interview Rachel Kalina, MSW, LCSW, about her work with gender awareness and inclusion! She is doing really awesome work and we are excited to have her as a resource for our kids and teens.
Why did you choose to become a therapist in St. Louis?
I chose to become a therapist because I love helping people. It is so important for people to have someone to help them through ALL of the triumphs and tribulations of life and it lights me up inside to see people making positive changes in their lives.
What kind of treatment do you provide?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy and I utilize Family Systems approach and Motivational interviewing.
What ages do you work with?
Ages 12 through adult.
What can parents and clients expect to leave with after working with you?
Clients can expect me to walk alongside them in their journey through recovery from mental health issues. I will teach clients coping and communication skills, self-awareness, and boundaries. I will help parents have a better understanding of the behaviors and symptoms they are seeing in their children and communicate with them about when it's time to talk with their child about concerns. I will also help parents by being a resource as they move through the rest of their years and assist them (and clients) with therapeutic needs or referrals in the future.
How long have you been working with the LGBTQIA+ community, specifically gender-diverse youth?
I have always embraced the LGBTQIA+ community since graduating with my MSW. I have been working in various capacities with this community for almost 10 years. So much has changed in the past 10 years and I have done my very best to stay current on new laws and terminology regarding gender identity and LGBTQIA+ rights.
Can you speak on gender awareness and inclusion and when a parent would want to consider getting this type of therapy for their child?
Often parents are some of the last to know when children are experiencing gender identity confusion or changes. It is important to address the concerns as soon as the child is willing to share them to show a supportive and understanding relationship and promote inclusion within the family unit.
Children are often scared to admit this to their parents for fear of disappointment, so sometimes they will ask for a haircut or not want a haircut, want to stop shaving or wear different clothing. Those are some of the first signs parents can look for that will promote open conversations about what's to come and a road map for what the future might hold with a transition in progress. Utilizing the pronouns in the home that the child expresses they wish to be called and the name, if different from their given name, promotes inclusion at home and in the community. It sets an example for people who come in contact with the child outside of the home as to the way you expect them to be treated by the community.
What do you wish parents knew about getting therapy for their child that is expressing they want to explore a different gender?
I wish parents would be aware that confusion and struggles with gender identity are not "a client's choice." Often times, I hear that parents think "this is a phase" or it's "attention-seeking" and don't understand why.
I try to educate parents to realize that the people experiencing these issues are not able to control how they feel, rather they are working to express their true selves in a society where people can be less than understanding.
Children would not willingly subject themselves to the scrutiny that society puts upon them if they were not having an internal struggle with gender identity. There are so many different ways children and people of all ages can present and there is SO MUCH TO LEARN. It's extremely important for parents to SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN in the process by providing them with unconditional love and being willing to learn and be open-minded, even though they may be uncomfortable. I also encourage parents to seek their own therapy to discuss any issues they are having with the situation, rather than projecting them onto the child/adolescent.
Can you talk a little about your approach and how it may play into anxiety therapy?
I try to utilize CBT methods and mindfulness when talking with clients who have anxiety. I like to help clients identify the things they have control over in their lives and take that control back in situations where they become anxious. We discuss and define what anxiety looks like across different settings in their life where they find it is heightened, and work to alleviate the feelings in those places by helping the client to remember their grounding exercises and what they have control over.
Who are your favorite types of clients to work with?
I love working with older adolescents and young adults who are facing a variety of issues. Gender identity can be a really difficult thing to navigate, so I try to assist with this population in supporting clients and their families through all stages of the exploration and transition.
What happens during a first appointment with you?
During our first appointment, we will spend time building rapport. We will go over the "legal stuff" at the beginning, provide clients with ample time to ask questions throughout the session, and work on getting to know each other. Therapist will outline what sessions and treatment might look like as we move forward, and ask clients to share their story and background and provide any details that they think are pertinent to the presenting problem.
How can people learn more and contact you?
You can email me or visit my website.
Share one fun fact about you that most people don’t know.
I lived abroad for 6 months and tutored kids in English and Math and that experience is what made me want to be a therapist!
Curious to learn more about gender awareness and inclusion? Want to know if you or your child could benefit from therapy? Contact Compassionate Counseling St. Louis to set up a free 15-minute phone consult. We’ll talk about what’s going on and best next steps - and if we’re not the right fit, we’ll connect you with other wonderful St. Louis-based therapists, like Rachel!
Compassionate Counseling St. Louis provides specialized anger management and anxiety therapy in St. Louis for kids, teens, and college students. We work in Clayton, MO and serve kids, teens, and college students throughout St. Louis City, St. Louis County, Ladue, University City, Town and Country, Webster Groves, Creve Coeur, Kirkwood, Richmond Heights, and Brentwood.